Category Archives: selfdevelopment

Space is Scary

I had a shit day today for sure. It came as a surprise, suddenly I wondered why the hell did I quit my old job… I opened the door of my comfortable house and walked out to a destiny that I want, but do I know where I am going?

But maybe that’s not it.

Space is scary.

Through adversity comes strength and resilience. I need that.

So plan, get a bar job, a shop job, any job, for a few hours a week, to stop worrying about money. Once there, look for something that I actually want. Commit the rest of my time to BF because this is what I want.


New Design For Life: Mindfulness

Just one week volunteering at new life foundation helped me to realise what had made my last 12 months difficult and how to enjoy life. I didn’t have space before, and when I did have space was taken up by being worried that I wasn’t doing something more useful. But space is useful in itself.

  1. Meditation and yoga
    When I was taking part in theses sessions, I had space to think. And space to not think too, to just be. And afterwards, my mind wasn’t cluttered, things were clearer. My mind felt bigger and spacious.
  2. Reflection
    In permaculture, unused output is waste. I put a lot energy into my life, but a lot of the things I tend to forget, because I don’t write them down. Doing stuff and then forgetting it is a waste of energy. Making notes and reflecting will help to make sense of my life. So keeping a blog and making notes is an essential part. But also this may include doing diagrams for work on posters, making lists and drawing; perhaps appreciating nature more; and listening to my own thoughts instead of pushing them out.
  3. Mindfulness
    Not having so much stuff, keeping things tidy, and taking care of things. Getting up early, focusing on a few things like cooking, baking (esp. sourdough bread!), practicing juggling, help to focus on the moment instead of worrying about things.

I will write a few reflections on how I want to improve my life to be happier and more fulfilled.